Interacting With the Dying by Rev. Frances D. Montgomery, NST, CM
July 10th, 2020 9:39 pm     A+ | a-
Many things are different since COVID 19, better known as “the virus” arrived in our lives this spring.  Hospice, nursing homes, hospitals, restaurants, many places, are still restricting visitors.  One manner of circumventing that situation in nursing homes is if the facility will allow open windows and you can stand outside the building by the open window and converse through the screen!  Just a thought to consider.  All are requiring masks if you enter the building.

I recently had a friend in a Hospice facility which allows only two visitors per day and if they leave, they can come back but no other persons can enter on that day.  One of the relatives was asking what you say to a dying person and that is the topic I would like to address. 

I know Hospice has a well written booklet covering this information which is readily available.  If you do not see one, ask at the desk and they will provide it to you.  It answers many questions explaining what to expect and offers good suggestions regarding conduct around a dying person.         

Everyone wants to let the patient know how much they love them and will miss them.  After that has been said – especially if the person is not terribly responsive, it is suggested you tell your loved one it is okay to go.  Give permission and reassurance that you will be all right even though you will miss their presence in your life. 

Also let them know you will be alert to their efforts should they attempt to contact you.  Affirm that you know they will be very much alive as well as fully healthy again and you would welcome their interaction in your life. 

Another suggestion would be to tell them that if they see someone they know – as a person in the spirit world might be standing nearby them, waiting for their soul to release, that they should go with them.  Assure them you will know where they are and that they will be able to return to visit those on the earth plane if they desire.

Tell them you will be waiting to hear from them when they get to spirit and you would respond to a knock on the wall, a flicker or dimming of the lights in the room, or perhaps a certain denomination coin should you find one, would let you know they had made contact.  Another way of contact is if you happen to turn on the radio and a favorite song of theirs or yours is playing right at that moment.  Take that as a sign of contact and send them a thought of thanks.

It is comforting to them to mention by name the folks they know in Spirit; their parents, siblings, relatives, friends of the family or workplace, and neighbors that are waiting to receive them.

If they are seeing, speaking, reaching toward something or someone you cannot see, interacting with spirit do not say, “Oh, you know they are dead and can’t be there.”  Validate their experience and realize that even though you may not see the entity, it does not mean they are not there.  It may be that soul is reaching for their hand and they are responding. 

Do remember that hearing is the last sense to leave so be careful what you say to them or to others in the room.  Do not speak as though they already do not exist. 

Do be aware that you cannot have it two ways.  Limiting the earthly stimulation is good.  So long as you are pulling them to look at this or that, speak about current interests, forcing them to try to eat or keep their strength up, watch television, or discuss current events, you are standing in the way of spirit entities who are attempting to help them release.

The body is heavier than the soul.  It is not unusual for a person to shed their clothing, which seems heavy to them, as they are attempting to get the soul to release the heavier physical body.  They are not being immodest; actually, they probably are not aware of their actions. 

Death is a very real part of life.  In temperate zones it manifests during the autumn to winter season when the leaves color, dry and drop, perennial flowers die back until spring.  The life of the tree or plant returns to its roots and lies dormant until spring.
There is a beautiful writing explaining the transition from this world to the next.  I would like to share it with you.

I Am Standing Upon The Seashore
       Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other. 
Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!" 
"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. 
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout;
"Here she comes!"
And that is dying.
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