How to Help When You Don't Know How! by Rev. Frances D. Montgomery, CM,NST
September 21st, 2018 4:11 pm     A+ | a-

Recently there have been several frustrations in my life.  I can only pray I can handle them well.  Sometimes we do the best we can but until the light bulb turns on in the bubble over our heads we really aren’t sure!

I have been dealing with a difficult situation which I know I created for myself.  I believed in and trusted some folks I should have realized were less capable than I thought they were.  My bad!  I was attempting to get them to do, for their own highest and best good what they really weren’t capable of even comprehending. 

I have been praying over the problem and the people.  I am not attempting to force them to do anything they don’t want to do.  They very much want to do this deed.  I have been expecting them to accomplish things I consider as normal and business as usual.  That, of course hasn’t happened and I hadn’t figured out why.

Suddenly it became obvious that they really have not had experience with this type of business so couldn’t understand what they were supposed to be doing. 

Mulling over the situation spirit brought to me a better way of handling things.

First off, we really are NOT all created equal.  We are on our own spiritual paths and we need to realize everyone hasn’t had the same experiences, teachings, opportunities and encouragement as we experienced - for a whole lot of reasons. 

My parents believed in me and taught me I could do whatever I put my mind to if I would spend the effort to accomplish whatever it was I desired.  It suddenly became clear to me that the individuals in this situation have never been taught that in any way.  Rather than expecting them to react the way I would have done, I needed to realize they hadn’t experienced the reinforcements I had been given.

These are younger people in an underprivileged situation.  Rather than expect them to respond as I might have done, I need to explain and encourage them, lift them up and inspire them to do what they should be doing. 

The situation is really tragic.  A young man of 23 has been told all his life that he is a slow learner.  He receives a monthly check because of that and is downtrodden because he thinks he can’t do anything.  He really isn’t “impaired” he just learns at a different speed than you or I might, however he has made statements that indicate he is not stupid or uneducable, simply has never had anyone inspire him to do better.  I am going to attempt to do that – I won’t do anything for him except be encouraging rather than disparaging.  Spirit caused me to realize he needs a better understanding of his own self esteem.  Maybe I can be someone to assist him in that manner.

The girl has had the same exposure.  Her mother said to me in front of her that “my daughter is a good girl but she ain’t too smart.”  I have no idea of how many times the girl has heard that drummed into her head and subconscious.  I am dealing with people of little education and limited successes thus far in their lives.

Rather than telling them what is expected of them in the business world – with which they have had little exposure, I need to explain and teach them one step at a time that they can gain a different experience from life than what they grew up with and that life will give them more joy if they handle things differently.

I am NOT attempting to change them – I am actually trying to help them manage what seems impossible, but which is something they very much desire.

This revelation of changing myself to handle things from their experiences rather than mine is humbling.   The lesson for me in this situation is best covered in our Declaration of Principles Number 6 – “We believe that the highest morality is contained in the Golden rule:  do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Rather than expecting them to know what they are supposed to be doing my job should be to teach them how to accomplish what they hope for by inspiring them and encouraging them.  They have already had too much enforcement of negatives – my task is to lift them up by teaching them they are able to raise their situation, and this is the way they can work in that direction. 

 If I am able to do that they will attain their dream, possibly changing from the lifestyle of repetitive failure to something more hopeful.  If they are able to experience some positive success, they will be able to realize more success is possible. 

Perhaps with the help Spirit gave me, we, Infinite Intelligence and I will be able to lift them up to the understanding that they are worthy, let them know someone does care and that life is a friendly road after all!  I hope we are all able to be an inspiration in someone’s life. 

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